Vacation, All I Ever Wanted

I’m off work this week because it is my son Jack’s March break from school, and he is here to visit for some of it. Unfortunately he has come down with a 24-hour flu that has about 6 hours left, so he’s prone on the new couch binge-watching The Last Ship. It’s good to see him in any case.

My wife hosted an Oscar party last night and we were all like zombies this morning due to the lack of sleep. I sat in a corner, facing away from the TV, snarking at the many things I hate about the Oscars, and I fear I overdid it. Snark is, I think, like wasabi. Best in small strategic doses, not an Axe body spray of sourness.

I also recorded the latest episode of Sunday Night in Cinema 3 yesterday, and I had some things to say about the Oscars, including:

What a perfect summary it is of Hollywood that on the same weekend they meet to hand out gold statues and jerk each other off, they release a remake of Death Wish, an NRA member’s wet dream, about a good man with a gun who decides to take his country back from the lowlifes. I don’t care how many gay films or black films or women’s films they greenlight to make themselves feel better; as long as they keep greenlighting shit like Death Wish, because they know it’s a sure sale in red states, Hollywood is complicit in the suffering of hate crime victims.

And for that matter, as much as I respect the #timesup movement and the many actors who have come forward to tell their story of being abused by powerful men, there is a giant gap in that story as long as no one is talking about the “Church” of Scientology, which enslaves its members, threatens them, sexually abuses them, and who knows what else. If anyone’s time should be up, it is Scientology.

But by all means, Hollywood, enjoy your annual celebration of yourself.

Jeez, chill, past-me.

I’m actually starting to think about how much “knee-jerk negativity just never got me through,” like the Psychedelic Furs said once. The snark, the anger, the little splashes of jealousy; I think I need to get my nose closer to the grindstone of my Buddhism. Concentrate, in other words, on what I say and do so as to avoid wearing a trench of negativity in my brain.

I’ve been a Buddhist for about 20 years now, and while I would never claim to even have my shit together, never mind be enlightened, I feel like I am managing my dosage better than I did in my initial fervor. My poor friends back then, listening to me jabber on about the dharma and the noble eightfold path. These days it’s more like a radio station that plays in the background of my thoughts, and it’s time for me to turn it up a little.

Lately one of those things I have been thinking about working harder on is the concept of “right speech” from the Noble Eightfold. It doesn’t mean conservatism, or censorship, or being “politically correct”, or any such thing. It simply applies mindfulness to how you interact with others, be it in person or online.

I think the fastest way to fill in that trench in the mind that we make from knee-jerk snark or negativity is to be the opposite. To love everything, at least insofar as that is possible. Do I really need to angrily retweet shit about the current “President” several times a day? Could I be encouraging or supporting someone else in that same amount of time? Can I take my brain out of the bath of bad news and unhappy social media shares where it normally swims?

Again, this doesn’t mean ignoring the bad shit or pretending that everything is great. It’s more a matter of letting go of the small stuff, and concentrating on a better balance of information coming in. It’s just another expression of one of the core concepts of Buddhism, which is to see the world as it is, without the filter of a largely imaginary self-image, cultural baggage, and other obstacles. It’s similar to what I try to do with my spare time, which is divide it equally between creative work and relaxing.

For those of you who follow The Insult, I’m a few comics behind but I plan to catch up on that and some other things after I take the boy home. And hopefully, by next weekend if not this one, I will slap together the first episode of a new podcast that I’ve been ever so slowly working on.


What Time Is It?

I’ve always been fascinated by the concept of time, something both so natural and so artificial, that we bend intentionally and that bends us. One of my favourite books is Einstein’s Dreams by Alan Lightman; it is a collection of short vignettes about the early life of Einstein when he was a patent clerk in Vienna, and the dreams that Lightman imagines might have inspired the theory of relativity. Each of the dreams posits a scenario where time works differently than the way we are used to.

Anyway, remember how I was writing about stress last week? I was thinking about it some more and analyzing where stress comes from, for me. It often comes from the fear of being late- I am generally VERY punctual- and that could include deadlines for work or for my own projects.

When you are a self-publisher, I don’t think it makes ANY sense to create deadline related stress for yourself. We already have enough of that in our day to day lives. This is something I was especially thinking about as I fleshed out the timelines for projects I want to get done this year. Some of the tasks were viable, others would be charitably called stretch goals (64 pages of comics from me in a year? Yeah right).

Once all those deadlines and checkpoints were laid out for me, I could feel the stress wanting to rise, but thankfully the Zen side of me put a firm hand on its shoulder and invited it to sit. I decided to try a different approach for a while, one which is sometimes used as a mindfulness exercise for Buddhists. If I started to feel stressed, or paralyzed by too many choices of what I could be doing, I would simply stop, take a breath, and ask myself, what time is it?

We have many times of day, and they don’t all have hard strict limits, but they tend to have fairly regular patterns. I work Monday to Friday from 8:30 AM to 5 PM, for example. Some days I might not sign in until 9, or I might work a few hours late at the end of the day. But the general “work day” pattern is there. So if it’s 3PM on a Tuesday and I ask myself, what time is it? The answer is: time to work, dummy.

Those answers could come from commitments (like work), habits (running or the gym), biological need (eating, sleeping), psychological need (relaxing, recreation), and more. So there are many possible responses to “what time is it?” at any given time of the day, but I think it’s asking the question that kicks the answer into our heads, because deep down we know what we ought to be doing, if only we did not fear the prospect of doing it.

Anyway. Give it a try, if you think it would be useful for you.

What else to talk about this week? I watched a lot of Bones, which is still possibly the worst thing ever made, and yet I cannot stop. I will ride all fourteen seasons down to hell in the name of distracting my overactive brain in the afternoons at work.

I’ve been reading the latest novel by Tom Perrotta, called Mrs. Fletcher, which alternates between the point of view of an entitled white kid from the Boston suburbs and his mother who has just seen him off to college and who is coming to embrace the idea of being a MILF. Like everything Perrotta does (The Leftovers, Election) it’s a little twisted, but compelling.

I guess I could sum up what I have done this week creatively. I worked on a new print and am just about ready to start the artwork in Clip Studio. I had a cute idea for another print and sketched that out. I published two new installments of The Insult., and two new installments of Faith of the Heart, one of which is exclusively on Patreon. I reviewed some of the manuscript of 4 of a Kind, my soon to be finished novel from last year’s NaNoWriMo. And, I published the latest episode of Sunday Night in Cinema 3 and have applied to have it listed in the iTunes store… cross your fingers.

Lots to do, as always, but the technique I described above is helping. Hope you have a great week.


One Last Push…


Hard to believe it’s almost Halloween. Last weekend was my last show of the year, the Halifax Pop Explosion Zine Fest, and I had a good time.

If you’re interested, I did manage to put together a new illustrated zine for it, an adaptation of Carmaig DeForest’s song “Hey Judas”, which was originally written as a takedown of then-President Reagan. I updated it for the current occupant of the Really White House and created some illustrations that depict what Hell would be like for Donald Trump. I decided to make it an extra challenge for myself by making the zine through 100% analog tools; it was all hand-drawn, painted and lettered. Fun, right? Anyway, there are a limited number of printed copies of the zine left – I will list it in my comics/zine store for those who want it.

As you can see in the picture for this post, there is also a new print called “Donair Trail” that borrows the design of some Nova Scotia provincial highway signs. I’m going to look into local distribution but if you are out of the HRM and would like one, you can order through InPrnt.

One of my goals for 2017, after a 2016 where I did some shows but was a bit disappointed with the results, was that I was going to upgrade the things I had to offer; I wanted to collect and publish some of my favourite older material, create and publish some new books, and work harder in general on the quality of my illustrations and prints. Overall, I feel like I have achieved those goals, so that feels good. Having the books available for sale, especially The Insult and Young & Dumb, had a positive impact on sales and generated some very welcome feedback. It was interesting and invigorating to “level up” my publishing efforts from trying to do everything myself to working with print on demand. I feel like it helped me turn a page, if you’ll pardon the pun.

There is still some older material I want to publish, most notably my old MA thesis as a monograph and my first three NaNoWriMo novels, but they all need significant editing, so if I can get those done by this time next year, that would be great. Of course I also want to get some new comics done, and illustrations, and perhaps look into listing my stuff on digital services like Comixology. I have also been thinking about a new project that would consume a good chunk of time, but I think it would be a fun challenge, so… we’ll see.

If it sounds like I am talking as if it’s the end of the year, it’s because it kind of is for me. The last few years I have been loosely planning my projects month by month, with a general plan for the entire year done in advance so that I can try to have something new to launch at the shows that I do.

But the end of the year has pretty much been the same since 2014: in October I do Inktober, a daily challenge for artists to draw something in ink every day. I’ve been doing it this year too- you can see it on my Instagram– and I think this year has been my best overall.

In November I’ve been doing National Novel Writing Month, a great way for experienced and amateur writers  to quickly knock out the first draft of a novel and raise money for school writing programs. I was able to complete the challenge on my first two tries but came up short last year due to some personal issues. I’m about to do it again for this year, so wish me luck.

December is not exactly a month off – I usually wind up doing an illustration or two for xmas presents, plus I draw custom gift tags and plan projects for the next year. Mostly I try to relax and enjoy time with family and recharge.

So, yeah; one last push for this year- NaNoWriMo- and then the holidays and snow and all that will be upon us. I’ll try to post here a little more often, especially about the new stuff as it becomes available. If you’ve made it this far, thanks as always for your support. I hope you have a great remainder of  the year. I hope we all do.